Wednesday, October 21, 2009


I seem to have this problem. I don't know exactly how to explain it. It pretty much just has to do with being totally ridiculous in front of boys that I find attractive. I either shy away and look like a complete idiot when I talk to them, or I become this total jerk and try to be sarcastic but it doesn't work. I don't know what to do!?

I pretty much have a crush on the Elders Quorum President. (I know that I look like a typical Mormon girl chasing after the calling, but I promise I am NOT like that...) His name is Noah and he is so fine. He is actually really nice. When I first met him I thought that there would be no way in heck that he would ever even look in my direction, but recent events have led me to believe otherwise.

Every Monday/Wednesday/Friday I have a class right after him. When I realized this I knew that it was a perfect way to get him to recognize me. So normally after that class when he comes out I am standing there and I always say hi to him. He has always said it back and then I would just go along with my day. Well recently I have been running into him more often around campus. Every time this happens he sees me first and says hi.
I told my roommates about this happening and how I really wanted to have an actual conversation with him, but I was way nervous to just stop him and try to bring up conversation. Rexi told me to just ask him where he was going and then to bring up his major and go from there. But I was still scared.
Well, on Mondy I had it all planned in my head. I was going to be waiting outside of the class again and I was going to take Rexi's advice and try to bring up random conversation...but I didn't end up having to.
I was really early to that class, so I pulled out the book I am reading (The Princess Bride for those who are wondering) and I started to get really into it and didn't realize that classes were getting out. But I felt someone walking towards me and slowing down so I looked up and there was Noah!! Standing right in front of me, as if he was waiting for me to finish so he could talk to me. My heart was freaking out. I probably looked like a total retard because I was smiling so big. But he started to ask me questions and I answered them all and asked him some as well...but my head was not in the conversation at all. I was so happy he was talking to me I kept thinking about how awkward I must've looked just standing there, or how I needed to stop smiling, and how I should make more eye contact, and pretty much after he left I was on cloud 9.

Monday just flew. I kept thinking about how he had stopped and started to talk to me, and how I really just wanted to have more opportunities to talk to him and get to know him, and then...well you know how minds work...I just kept getting carried away in the daydreams.

But, I want things to move faster with Noah and I don't know how to do that without looking like a freak of nature. I don't want to seem desperate. I don't want to look like a stalker. I don't want him to get any bad idea of me! I just want us to talk more!! Gahh! What should I do?? At the rate we are going right now, he won't ask me on a date until December!! Come on!

I guess I am just going to have to try to sit next to him at Church or something...hmm any ideas?


Monday, October 19, 2009

Dukes and Knights

Well, I think I need we need an update on the dating scene. I never went on a date with Charles because he hasn't asked. (Maybe Duke told him to back off). But Duke did ask me out. I was feeling somewhat reluctant because I felt in the back of my brain that I was still using him to show Ken that I was dating other people...even if that means dating his roommate! (Call me evil!) But there was something I wasn't prepared for, I was actually looking forward for my date with Duke. The whole time during the date I was seriously having a blast and he was very charming. He would show a lot of affection physically, like randomly putting his arm around my waist or he would grab my hand. If no one knew who we were it kind of looked like we were in a relationship. But he was really funny. BUT.....It still bothered me because I seriously felt like he was a player. He sure acts like one, and Ken's warning (Ken said that Duke was a slut) kind of made me cautious towards Duke....very cautious. I thought by the end of the date he would try to kiss me, but he never did. I admit, I had a lot of respect for him for that one. Another thing that was a little awkward on the date was that Duke took me to his apartment and of course Ken was there sitting on the couch playing video games. He had that deer-in-the-head-lights-look when he saw me, but quickly shrugged it by saying, "oh hey, fancy seeing you hear" which really meant, "I can't believe, you are going out with my slutty roommate!"

But then I did a dirty thing, the next day I was feeling really sick (hopefully, it's not the Swine Flu!) so I canceled my date for that night (I won't give him a name because I'll'll probably never write about him, he's way too short). But then Duke called up and asked if I wanted to go on a drive and I said yes! But I felt justified because I was only going on a drive. I was sitting at home anyways. What's the difference if I sit on a couch or in a car?
This date he was definitely more touchy feely. He would randomly touch my leg because his hands were cold (his hands were actually really cold, if I didn't know any better I would have thought he was a vampire). We then would hold hands randomly. There were a couple of times where I really really really wanted to kiss him, but I already made up my mind before my date that I wasn't going to kiss him and I was going to stick to it. It turns out that he didn't even try. But most of all I loved the conversations we had. We talked a lot and I felt I got to know him even more. I actually forgot about Ken for a while. Duke then told me that he acts like a player in order to know a lot of girls and he doesn't want to get attached unless he knows the girls feels the same way about him. After talking to him even more I realized that he wasn't such a manwhore as I thought he was. Yes, I am sure he's had his days but he was actually sincere. My mind was kind of spinning. Last week I was annoyed with him and somewhat using him. Now I don't know what to think.

But I was glad I was at church the next day because it was a place where I didn't have to think about boys. Relief Society was great. Sunday school was wonderful too, but then Sacrament Meeting happened.......and out of everyone in my ward my hometeacher is speaking, Mr. Bruce Wayne! Ugh......why? I knew that all the girls were only looking up at him to see his pretty features. I of course was disgusted. If only those girls knew, how little of a personality this dark knight had. Ok, I admit that I was checking him out a little bit too. But I and all my roommates swear that he was looking at me the majority of the meeting. Oh well, I don't really know what he wants in life....

But I really feel like I need to tell Duke how I feel because I don't think I should date him. He's not the right guy for me, even if I do like being around him. I don't want to hurt him. He's a good guy.

I wonder what life would be like without men?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Umm yes.

  • "Today my fanatic best friends were having a long, boring discussion about the Twilight movie. One said she thought Robert Pattionson would have looked hotter with a tan. A random person passing us said "Impossible. There's no sunshine in the closet". Thank you, kind stranger."
  • "Today, my sister told me that her fiancee proposed to her by giving her a ring in a Pok├ęball instead of a ring box. I've never been more jealous in my life."
  • "Today, I used a cheap store-brand pregnancy test just for fun, and it came out positive. I'm both male and a virgin, but I'd be simply thrilled to have a baby."
  • "Today, I was walking to class a little bit behind my 80 year old professor. He suddenly swerved to the left about five feet and JUMPED on an especially crunchy looking leaf. I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that."
  • "Today, I went out to lunch with my five year old niece. I asked her what she looked for in a boy, considering she had a 'boyfriend'. She immediately said, "Nothing! Boys are gross. I'm only using them for their animal crackers." I have taught her well."
  • "Today, I took a history test on the Mughal Empire. One of the questions asked "What famous leader was buried in a magnificent white marble tomb?" I answered Dumbledore. Not only was full credit awarded, but my teacher wrote "I was secretly hoping someone would put this." Best class ever."


(This website seriously made my day.)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Hey, chicks love it. It's a shaggin' wagon.

FACT: Beets, Bears, Battlestar Galactica.
FACT: Boys, Food, Dumb and Dumber

I don't know what the fascination is with the movie "Dumb and Dumber" but I find it a waste of time. When I first saw it yeah I laughed at some parts but for the majority of the time I was puking in my mouth or totally disgusted.
Really it isn't that funny. I have seen funnier. This movie is simply DUMB hence the title.

I feel like every guy out there LOVES this movie. I just wanna say PLEASE never suggest to watch it on a date. That is simply revolting.

Thats all.


Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Three Amigos

You know, I thought that most guys talked to each other about their dates, but I guess I was wrong. This apartment is one exception. None of them knew they were asking out the same girl. Ken ended up asking me out on Friday night, Duke was asking me out for Saturday night, and Charles was asking me out for "sometime next week." WHAT WAS GOING ON? Was I a prize for some kind of game. I was so confused.

However, they are all very different. Duke is a real ladies man who's probably made out with a lot of girls, Ken is a likeable guy all around, and Will is a dancer (not gay).

By the way, I didn't go on a date with Ken Friday because I already had plans and I didn't go on a date with Charles Saturday because I was out of town. But out of all of them, Ken was the most confusing. I haven't talked to Ken in three weeks! And then all of a sudden he asks me out. I really can read guys pretty well, but I really don't know what he wants from me. (He's not gay by the way) We've gone on dates since January (without even holding hands) and we've kept in touch over the summer. And I feel when I am with him it's on his schedule. He asked me last minute on Friday, so I felt like I was the back up plan. I was so frustrated. Out of this apartment, I know Ken the most. So I decided to text him and this was our conversation.

REXI: Ok I really don't understand what's going on. Is this some kind of game between you three? I'm confused.

(It took him a while to resond)

KEN: Got your text. Who's you three?

REXI: Do you ever talk to your roommates?

KEN:Haha yeah why? Now I'm confused!

(Wow I was right, they don't talk to each other)

REXI: You Duke and Charles are asking me out and I just didn't want to be a part of some kind of game. That's all.

KEN: Haha really? That's crazy! I had no idea! I wasn't asking you out as much as just wanting to be friends. :)

(Ouch, that really hurt. He wants to be friends? This doesn't make sense. What guys pairs off with a girl and pays for a date if he wants to be friends. Unless we were just hanging out. I was mad at this point.)


KEN: Sorry to make you think something weird was going on! Did you go out with them or did they just ask you?

(At this point, I wanted to show him that I have been dating other guys, even his own roommates!)
REXI: I went to get a drink with Duke and he asked me out this Sat. Then dancing with Charles but we're doing something next week. I just didn't know what was going on.

KEN: Hmm weird. That's gross though. Duke is a slut who uses girls and Charles...I love him but he's just a goofy bloke. Don't waste your time with Duke though.

(Did he really just say that? It was kind of cute how he was warning me about Duke because that meaned he cared. (But I already knew Duke was a slut). But I was also furious that ken was telling me about what he thought about his roommates. Who does he think he is? It's like he doesn't want me to go out with them and yet he just wants to be 'friends' with me. I am not interested in Duke at all, but Charles is really nice but I probably wouldn't go anywhere with him. But I had to show Ken that I was looking at my options. The whole thing was Grrr!)

REXI: Wow well I don't know how to take that. Duke has been working out with me and helping me and Charles is cool. I don't think you should give me advice.

KEN: That's my opinion. Not my advice. You're free to do whatev :)

(At this point, I didn't know what to say. I was stuck. He was giving me the vibe that he didn't care what I did. Either he actually doesn't care what I do, or he's trying to hide his feelings from me. I just want to know what he wants. But it took me forever to figure out what to text next and then my phone started to buzz....)

KEN: Well nice talkin to you. Maybe I'll hear from you again next semester!

(What! He knows we haven't really been hanging out like we both thought we would. But he's been giving me the hints that he's interested in other girls. Why is he blaming this on me. I didn't go away. I'm the type of girl who encourages a guy by texting him or hanging out with him before devo, but he hasn't asked me to do anything with him. I'm not the type of girl to ask a guy out on a date. Call me old fashioned.)

REXI: What is that supposed to mean?

KEN: Just like we hang out one time and then i never hear from you after that.

(I'm not going to ask you out on a date! And you were completely giving me the cold shoulder at devo!)

REXI: I thought you were doing that to me. But can we talk about this later?

(I wanted to have this conversation in person, not through text)

KEN: Sure thing. I'm not mad or anything just so you know :)

(I'm mad!)

REXI: Ok, well I hope you have a nice day.

So now, I don't know what to do about the whole thing. I'm not sure if Ken will tell Duke and Charles that they've all been asking out the same girl or if Ken will keep this his secret. I really just want to tell Ken upfront. "What do you want from me? Do you want to be friends or something more? I'm not looking for a relationship or anything, but I just want to know what you are thinking?!?!" I want to go on a date with Duke just to make Ken jealous. But I'm not sure if that will even make him jealous cause he just wants to be 'friends.' I just don't know what type of guy would ask out a girl if he wasn't interested in her. That's how it works right?

But, this should be an interesting week. We'll see how the dates go.

Heck, for all I know the three amigos could just all back out!

Friday, October 9, 2009


I HATE BOYS (okay, hate is a strong word...I just DISLIKE some of them with a great passion).

So Eddie. Random guy I just met, I gave him my number, we've been kinda hanging out. (thats the gist of it.)

Eddie is a total jerk. First of all I can't read him at all. Well, thats a lie. I know that he is interested in me, but I am confused over his communication skills.

Our first sudo-date experience:

He texts me asking me if I wanted to go get a drink. I go. The whole time he has his music on in the car and he wont respond to any question with more than "yeah" or "no". I tried and tried, but no avail. Really retarded. Then he tells me he has to go grocery shopping so I had to go with him. He ended up spilling a drink all over me and just laughed. (I wouldn't have minded if he had apologized.) Then in the car he kept turning to me asking if I knew the artist to whatever song was playing. I was so annoyed, but he wouldn't take me home. I didn't want to be rude so I stayed but it was extremely awkward and I hated it.

He then makes up for it by asking me if I wanted to go for a drive with him the next day. I went and he had an easier time talking and it was fun. But also awkward because the whole time we talked about kissing and stalking. Random conversation but at least he was talking. It really threw me off because of the night before. He told me that he had made out with 3 girls in one night once (I don't know if he was trying to impress me or what but I was like wow he is a manwhore) and then he went off onto that whole story and then started asking me about making out stories. He took me home, and I had no idea what to think of him.

My roommates were all just as confused as me once I told them what had happened. We all know he obviously wants a make out session. But I am not that type of girl, and I don't make out with boys I don't like. I don't even feel like I am physically attracted to this guy. I HARDLY know this guy, we literally just met like 5 days ago.

Then two nights ago he called (so I put him on speaker phone so my roommates could listen in) and he asked if I wanted to watch a movie on campus with all of my roommates and random people the next day. I said I would talk to them about it and let him know, he then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to go on another drive with him. I didn't go, but I told him I would let him know about the movie thing.
I texted him later that night saying that we would love to do that, and then he texted me for awhile but I fell asleep.
So yesterday happens and I have class and then I end up going to the city with my roommates for the day and right when I got home I checked my phone and Eddie had tried to call. I called him back and asked if we were still on for the movie and he told me because he hadn't heard from me all day he didn't reserve the place so it was a no go. He asked if I wanted to do something else, but I had made backup plans with my roommates so I said that I was going to stay home with them and he flipped out. He started to yell at me on the phone and then he told me to put it on speaker phone and when I did he started to yell at my roommates.
I was so mad. I got on the phone and told him that I would call him back in 10 mins and then I hung up on him.
I don't know who this guy thinks he is, but he can NOT treat me or my roommates like that. I seriously wanted to text him and ask him where this attitude came from. He texted me though after I hung up on him and said "Im just frustrated because I waited to hear from you all day and now I don't even get to see you". I was thinking to myself "are you serious dude, we haven't even gone on a date, I don't owe you anything!" I texted him back saying sorry and then I stopped texting him even though he sent me about 25 texts apologizing.
Then last night he texted me around 1am and asked if he could come over. I said sure, but then he was all can you just come to my car. I really wanted him to just come and talk to me in my apartment but I went with him anyways, because I wanted to clear some things up with him.
When I got in the car he apologized for the miscommunication and told me he was just joking when he was yelling and stuff like that. I told him I wasn't going to take crap and I would let him know if he was pissing me off.
We then talked about stuff and I find out that we have NOTHING in common. Seriously we are complete opposites. It isn't a bad thing, but I just feel like he has nothing to him, and I feel like I could never be deep around him.
He took me home at 2am and he was all "we should mess your hair up and make it look like we were making out" and as I was stepping out of the car I turned to him and said "as I left my apartment I told them I wouldn't ever make out with you." then I slammed the door shut and ran into my apartment.
I am so frustrated. He is ridiculous. He ended up texting me saying thanks for going with me, and I said its okay, I learned a lot about you. He asked if it was good or bad and I told him that I just thought we were complete opposites. He then pulled the stupid saying "opposites attract" so I said "birds of a feather flock together" and then he got mad again. He asked me if I was telling him that he had no chance with me because we didn't have anything in common. I told him no, but that we shouldn't even be having this conversation because we weren't even dating, and then he got even more frustrated with me.
I called him, because sometimes texting makes things look worse than what they really are and he told me that he didn't even know if he wanted to take me out on a date and then when I told him that I just wanted to be friends and that I didn't know what he was thinking he hung up on me.

I think he is a jerk. I don't want to talk to him again. I don't want to even see him again. Am I justified in thinking any of this? Am I being a brat for not giving him more of a chance?

I just don't want to deal with a freakin' girly boy! It is like he has PMS or something. I just don't like all of this drama, and I shouldn't have to deal with it.

and this my friends is why I dislike boys.


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Dating Whore


I feel terrible. Ben and I aren't talking anymore. We finally had a little DTR and it killed me to tell him how I felt. I like Ben a lot, but I don't feel I could ever love him (P.S. I've never been in love). He's still in Washington and it's not that I can't handle long distant relationships it's because I'm obviously not crazy enough for him in order to keep this relationship going. I'm dating around and he won't. I told him how guilty I was feeling.'s so frustrating because he sends me cute text messages during my boring classes. He'll text, "Just thinking about you, Babe." or "You make me so happy even though we're far away." I was crying as we were having our conversation on the phone. He knew our relationship was balancing on a tight rope. I said, "If I wanted this relationship to work out, I would let it. I just feel that I am your first priority. You would do anything for me and you're always there for me, but I'm not there for you. My priorities are different from yours and it's not fair to you." I could tell from his tone of voice that he was sad. But surprisingly he wasn't mad at me. He understood and he told me that he would move on. But then he said, "Rexi, but before you go, I just wanted to let you know that you are the only girl that........." Stop. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I interrupted him and told him that it would be best if I didn't know. It wouldn't solve anything if he told me. He said, "You're right. I don't know what I was thinking." Then we said goodbye and I cried myself to sleep.

I thought I was going to be very depressed the day after, but I wasn't. I was sad when I woke up, but once I went to class I was in my own little routine at school. Everytime I thought of Ben it hurt me. I still have feelings for him but if I know the answer, I'm just wasting his time. But my day got a little bit better when Duke decided to ask me out on a little mini date. Now, you don't know who Duke is, but he is in fact Ken's roommate! Ken has no idea that Duke asked for my number and we've been texting each other for the past week. I don't think Duke knows that Ken and I used to have a thing.

There are only two things that might be going on: 1) Ken isn't interested in me and told Duke that I was free game OR 2) Duke has no idea Ken and I had a thing (it sounds like Duke and Ken don't talk very much)

But this is the worst part. I'm not even interested in Duke. He's a real ladies man and he thinks he's God's gift to women. The only reason why I went out with him is because I wanted to show Ken that I was dating other guys. But since Ken and Duke don't talk very much I don't think that Ken knows about it.

Then there's Charles who is also Ken's roommate and he just invited me to go dancing with him tonight! (I have to hurry and finish this because I have to start getting ready) The thing is that Ken was gone this past weekend, so he didn't know that I was hanging out with Duke and Charles. I really don't think their apartment talks to each other. It seems like all those guys just do their own thing and they don't talk about their dates.....but..maybe not. Maybe they're playing some big joke on me. Is this a test?

But today Ken sent me a little message saying, "How are by the way? I haven't seen you at all it seems like since the semester started!" WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? He hasn't talked to me in weeks and has clearly given me the hint that he's not interested and then he acts like I'm the one not interested in him! He's seriously so confusing. But I'm going to go to that dance with Charles tonight. It's not a date, but Charles was really wanting me to show up. We'll see how tonight turns up. I wonder if Ken would be there at the dance (I doubt it, Ken never told me he liked to dance).

Maybe this whole thing is a bad idea. I'm pretty much using Ken's roommates. eeeek.

I think I am a dating whore.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Bruce Wayne


Ok, so recently I've been going on a lot of dates. I'm getting the feeling that my roommates are getting a little annoyed. One of them is even tallying all of my dates and keeping a record. Should I be feeling guilty? Aren't we commanded to go on dates? But with these dates, they aren't always these romantic dinners on roof tops.

One of the dates I found to be most interesting. I get asked out by my home teacher, Bruce. Now this isn't just some homely guy who comes to give me a little lesson. He is honestly the best looking guy in the ward and could seriously pursue a career in modeling. I would consider him a 10 when it comes to looks (that rarely happens). His biceps were as BIG as my face! I seriously wanted to bite them the first time I saw them. He has black sharp hair and has a smile that could be advertised on a Colgate commercial. It wouldn't surprise me to see him on the front cover of People Magazine. When he walks by I see other girls taking a double take. Every girl wants this guy's attention. I don't know how he became to be my home teacher, but when he gave me a call telling me he was coming over to teach the lesson I about DIED! Bruce was coming over to my apartment! This past weekend he asked me out. I was literally SCREAMING with excitement!

He picked me up and I didn't know too much about him so we began in to a little bit of conversation. "What's your major?" "Where are you from?" The only problem was is that I was the one asking the questions. I know everything about this Mr. Bruce Wayne and I doubt he even knows my first name. But it wasn't like he was cocky. It seemed like he couldn't communicate well. How could this drop dead gorgeous guy be awkward in conversation?

We got ice cream and watched a movie at his apartment. He brought out a blanket and I thought, "hmm...this means we'll be sitting close together." No, he just put his arm around me as if we had been dating for a month. We cuddled and I wasn't complaining too much. I felt so small next to him and he smelt really good. But later on, the cuddling became a little more intense. We were really cuddling.... My head was on his chest. His pecs were huge and his hand was around my waist. His other hand was occupied with mine. My head was moving up and down from him breathing. I could have layed there all night.

He was holding me really tight.........then it became a little too tight. What became a really cute cuddling session became a gun show. It was like he was showing off his muscles by trying to squish me. At random times in the movie he would wrap his arms around me and then he would just squeeze. It was like he was showing off his amazingly big muscles. I couldn't see the TV screen because his biceps were in the way....I'm not going to lie, the whole thing was kind of a turn off.....but it wasn't over. He then started to touch my face and his fingers were feeling my cheeks and my chin. Then he slowly brushed his fingers against my lips....I think I was hyperventalating at this point. Yes, it felt good! But it was still a turn off. I didn't want to kiss him at all. I had no intention on giving Mr. Bruce Wayne action. The whole thing was very awkward. I was fully prepared to turn my head if he tried to kiss me. I was also planning what I was going to say if he tried to lay a fast one on me. But then the movie got over and he was stalling to take me home. There were so many times where he would get so close to my face and look at my lips. It was like he was saying, "I dare you to kiss me." HELLO! I wasn't even tempted! Not even his amazing good looks were going to get him this far. Because I wasn't exactly going up to his face he then hugged me and then when he pulled away he slid his cheek next to mine and I swear his lips were sliding by my jaw. WOW! It was seriously soooo intense! It was like slow motion going on. His lips never made it to mine probably because he got the hint that I would probably pull away. But before things got a little worse, I then told him jokingly, "you are a teaser." He chuckled and said, "what does that mean?" I just shrugged my shoulders and said. "So do you do this every friday?" He said no.

The funny thing was was that he was so comfortable with his body and physical self but he was horrible in communication. I think he uses his amazingly good looks in order to get dates. He doesn't even have to try. What girl would turn him down? He is so confident and yet he was an absolute bore when it came to his personality. I honestly think his looks have crippled his communication skills!

Alas, what a shame. Bruce Wayne is no Batman.

Hey at least I got a free cuddling session!

Friday, October 2, 2009

There Ain't No Party Like My Granny's Tea Party Hey Ho!

Like Jemaine says in Flight of the Concords:

"Sometimes when I free style I lose confidence..."

Sometimes I feel like a retard when I try to flirt. Then if it doesn't work I lose confidence. Then I watch as Rexi just smiles at a guy and gets a date. How frustrating.